Grow | 10 Things I Learned in April

As part of my aim to take the word GROW and see how it fits into my life this year, I'm ending each month with some reflections on things I've learned and different ways I've grown (or not).

Here are the 10 things I learned in April...

1. Sometimes, if you step back, have a little faith and let your kids do the work instead of stepping in and doing it for them, they will amaze you with what they can accomplish on their own.
2. Gold Class is awesome. Relaxing in those armchairs with my feet up was probably the best thing I did for myself during my third trimester. Having food delivered to our seats during the movie was pretty cool too. 
3. Watching a soccer game live is a thousand times more exciting than watching it on TV.
4. Nathan came about 24 hours after my water broke. Caleb came about 12 hours after my water broke. I totally expected my water to break and Baby #3 to come 6 hours after that but that's totally not how it happened. At all. People well tell you that things go faster the second and third time around but people are not always right.
5. Mia and I went out for the first time, two days after coming home from the hospital. We went to church in the morning, then I brought the 3 kids to the mall by myself to pick up a birthday present on the way to a birthday party Caleb was invited to. Fellow moms told me it was "incredible" that I was out and about already but in reality, I knew that if I didn't get out of the house that day, I would have just stayed cooped up inside for the rest of the week.
6. Two weeks later, I would spend an entire morning curled up in a ball on Nathan's bed (the only bed that gets the warm sunlight in the winter), shivering uncontrollably. That was my body's way of telling me to slow down. It turns out you really do need time to let your body recover after giving birth and getting right back into packing and running errands around the city is not part of the recovery plan.
7. I know I should spend more time purging and packing since Mia sleeps so well during the day, but I just want to stare at her beautiful face and play with her tiny fingers!
8. Being a mom of 3 requires a lot of energy.
9. The Café Grande ice cream by Connoisseur is basically everything a breastfeeding mom shouldn't be having, but it tastes so, so good. And it gives you a quick hit of "energy".
10. Ever so often, you'll make friends who really get you. I am lucky enough to have a bunch of those in my life.

Grow | 10 Things I Learned in March

As part of my aim to take the word GROW and see how it fits into my life this year, I'm ending each month with some reflections on things I've learned and different ways I've grown (or not).

Photo by Chicoz Photography. Thank you, Michele!

Here are 10 things I've learned in March...

1. Big life decisions aren't easy to make, even if you've been thinking about this decision and have been weighing out the pros and cons for the past 18 months. At the end of the day, you just have to do it, like ripping off a bandaid, and just deal with the pain afterwards.
2. It's eye-opening, the things you learn about people when they're put in stressful situations.
3. When a friend asks you to come over to help her test out lighting for silhouette photos, she might actually be planning to surprise you with maternity photos. It's not something I'd choose to do for myself, but I'm glad I have something to remind me of this time in my life.
4. I have made a wonderfully diverse group of friends over the past four years here. Having a bunch of them gathered together at my surprise baby shower reminded me just how blessed I am, and pulled me out of a dark and ugly place.
5. Even being 36 weeks pregnant can't stop me from sitting in the car for 10 hours just to see baby turtles hatch and make their way into the ocean.
6. Learning to cook authentic Thai dishes from friends is a million times better than learning to cook using recipes.
7. Andrew goes to great lengths to make our birthdays special. After spending weeks trying to locate a Ripstik (the only thing Nathan’s been asking for since before Christmas) in Brisbane, he drove 45 minutes out to Redcliffe to pick up what was basically the very last available one. Then, he pulled an all-nighter after his late shift to create a scavenger hunt for Nathan when he woke up the next morning. 
8. Parenting is filled with little moments that make your heart want to burst into happy tears.
9. Andrew's really good at selling our stuff (aka purging). I'm good at packing (aka hoarding). I think we balance each other out. 
10. Sometimes I neglect this blog because I'm busy living my life and I'm okay with that. I'm also okay with going back to fill in the blanks, writing posts that should have gone up days/weeks ago. I do that so that when I look back and try to figure out what happened when in my life, things are in the right order. To me, memory-keeping is more important than social media. 

Grow | 10 Things I Learned in February

As part of my aim to take the word GROW and see how it fits into my life this year, I'm ending each month with some reflections on things I've learned and different ways I've grown (or not).

Here are 10 things I've learned in February...

1. How to balance eggs. 
2. 2015 seems like the year for me to get stuff done. I've had some items on my list since 2012 and somehow, they have been crossed off. It's not really by any planning on my part or anything. My body seems to have switched into a "get it done" mode so even when my body is tired and my brain feels like mush, I somehow push past that and get things done. Lego clean-up? Done. Sorting through the boys' clothes and packing up what they don't fit anymore? Done. Project Life 2012 albums? Done. December Daily 2014 mini album? Done. Project Life 2014 albums? Done. Nesting is real, people.
3. I constantly need me-time to recharge. I've always known this but it's hard because I also enjoy going out, doing new things and being with my favourite people. But at the end of the day, if I don't get a concentrated dose of me time, I become irritated and burnt out, and I needed a reminder to fight for me-time to acknowledge this about myself.
4. When friends give an open invitation for your boys to stay over at their house when we need it (i.e., when I go to the hospital), and also insist you call anytime, even in the middle of the night and they'll come over in their PJs so we don't have to wake the boys up, they're more than your friends. They are family.
5. I want and need to learn how to be that kind of friend.
6. I have now reached the point where my belly catches random drops of food because I cannot properly lean in to eat over my plate. It is getting big.
7. That said, I have discovered just how irritating it is for people to say, over and over again, how huge my belly is getting. I never really had this problem the first two times around. I don't recall anyone really talking about my belly or how big it was, and so I didn't understand why it was such a big deal when some expectant mothers complain about people talking about the size of their belly. But now, I get it. And here's the thing. My belly is supposed  to be getting bigger - it means my child is growing inside me. I would be worried if it wasn't growing. Even so, is it really necessary for people to constantly point out a pregnant woman's belly? 
8. How to make tortillas. 
9. Being pregnant in the middle of Australian summer is so completely different from being pregnant in the middle of Canadian winter. My feet have never been more swollen and I have never used the A/C as much as I am using now.
10. I'm getting a little anxious about the things coming up in the next couple of months.

Grow | 10 Things I Learned in January

As part of my aim to take the word GROW and see how it fits into my life this year, I want to end each month reflecting on things I've learned and different ways I've grown (or not). I'm borrowing this idea from Larissa who shares 10 things she's learned at the end of each month.

Here are 10 things I've learned in January...

1. How to drive a manual car. My growing baby bump and short legs are the worst combination for learning this new skill but I can get the car moving, if that’s anything to be proud of.
2. Gherkins are delicious! I don’t know why it took me 28 years to learn this.
3. How to make potato salad. Again, it took me a while to realize this because I grew up around potato salad with hard boiled eggs and that was such a huge turn off for me. Now that I’ve finally realized I can make my own, I leave out the eggs. And I toss in some gherkins.
4. Choosing a girl name is hard! There are very few female names in the Bible. And even fewer that haven’t been taken by someone we already know, sound nice with Tsoi and have a good meaning. Help.
5. It is entirely possible for a 27-week pregnant woman to feel an overwhelming amount of comfort and joy when she finally makes the switch to maternity underwear. True story.
6. It's also entirely possible to have your maternity referral rejected by not one but two public hospitals. Sure, the system will take our tens of thousands of dollars in international student tuition fees but they won't let us use their public hospitals!
7. I love having things spotlessly clean but I hate cleaning because putting my hand near dirty things = gross!
8. I am one of the few, incredibly lucky moms whose kids don't answer "what did you do at school today?" with "nothing". For a while now, our after school car rides have been filled with conversations about the work Nathan’s been doing at school, and then more recently what Caleb’s been doing at school. But it didn’t occur to me until the first day of school this year (link) when Caleb piped in as I was “interrogating” Nathan about his class that I realized how eager they are to share these things with me. And I’m learning to pay closer attention to the things they say and show genuine interest.
9. Andrew’s new work schedule isn’t so bad. I actually don’t mind him working until 11PM because it means I have someone to hang out with in the morning until lunch time (even if hanging out just means being in the same room while we do our own work) and quiet work time at night.
10. The boys are absolutely fascinated by the movements of Baby Girl in my belly. I was hoping that each of the boys could feel baby move at least once this pregnancy and thankfully they did. Now they both can’t stop talking about what Baby is doing and if she’s moving around. I love that they care.

Grow | One Little Word 2015

I started doing One Little Word in 2012 and for the past 3 years, I've been choosing a word to focus on each year: commit, embrace, brave. Each of those words represented the challenges and experiences I was expecting for the year ahead.

This year, I had a really hard time settling on a word. Looking forward into the year, I wanted something that would remind me to have strength, to move forward and to adapt to all the changes we'll be experiencing this year. Finally, I settled on grow.

In 2015, I want to grow into my new role as a mom of three while growing out of old routines and habits as Andrew begins his internship. It's going to be tricky balancing three little individuals with drastically different levels of independence and needs, but I'm determined to make it work. I'm going to have to make it work, with Andrew working the hours he will be working this year. Before the school holidays, I would have thought this would be no problem for sure. But now that the boys have been extremely over-stimulated and our rules and routines have been ignored for far too long from having visitors and all the festive excitement, this will definitely be a long-term, challenging goal to achieve. I'm hoping we can tone things back down before Baby #3 comes. Like, way down.

In 2015, I want to watch my kids as they grow, and support them as they do. The past couple years, I've spent a lot of one-on-one time with Caleb while supporting Nathan from the sidelines (soccer, swimming, school events, etc.). I'm looking for ways to even things out a bit this year now that Caleb is older and more ready for extracurricular activities. My biggest challenge is finding one-on-one time with Nathan since he's the one who's usually at playdates or after school activities. And then when Baby #3 comes, it'll all change again but I'm looking forward to seeing how the three of them all grow together.

In 2015, I want to grow. Period. I have a long list of books I'd like to read and an even longer list of skills that I'd love to develop. Most of them are creative, some of them are practical and others just for fun. The important thing here is to stop thinking about what I could be doing, and just do it. Give it a try. If it doesn't work out, oh well, move on.

Sometimes growing takes time and a lot of hard work. Other times, it's fast and effortless. Either way, I'm looking forward to see how I grow this year.

Live Brave | November

I know, I know. It's practically the middle of November and I'm only just getting this post out now. Better late than never!

October's goals were a step outside my comfort zone. We went to the Instameet. But instead of organizing our photos, I spent all my waking hours working on this cookbook for a school fundraiser. Never mind that our small team of 3 moms didn't have any idea what we were stepping into when we agreed to take on this project. In fact, more than a month later, we're still working on it (but we're so close to being done) so I'd say this was a brave goal for sure. 

And healthy smoothies? Well, I'm really happy about all the fresh produce we've been buying from the weekend markets but the closest I got to a healthy smoothie was a strawberry milkshake. That Andrew made for me. 

Moving on...

In November, I want to...

Spend one-on-one time with each boy. Including Andrew. December is notoriously busy for us and now that Caleb's moving towards full-day school and Nathan wanting to spend every free moment with his friends, I'm spending a lot of time all by myself. Thank goodness Andrew is just about finished school. It'd be nice to do something with each of my boys before things get hectic around here.

Spring clean. This one isn't much fun but it has to be done. Unfortunately for Andrew, I have a long list of things that need to be done before his family comes to visit in December. This list has been growing since the beginning of the year, just waiting for him to finish school.

Keep cool. The temperature is soaring here and it's not even summer yet. The challenge is to find creative ways to stay cool when my body temperature is through the roof. Bonus points if I can keep my cool and not lose my temper with the boys every other minute. 

Live Brave | October

In September, I managed to get a block schedule going which worked well for me up until school holidays started, which ended up being most of September. However, I plan on getting back on track once the boys go back to school. It's a great way for me to focus my time on one thing at a time. 

We survived the 10 days Andrew was away and I managed to up my water intake a little but it still wasn't enough. 

For October, I want to...

Go to an Instameet. There happens to be one in South Bank this weekend. Although going to meet a bunch of random strangers is way out of my comfort zone, I think it'll be fun and hopefully inspirational.

Organize our photos. I currently have over 30 000 photos and videos on my computer that needs to be culled and organize. It's the most tedious job but it needs to be done.

Make healthy smoothies. I have an irrational fear of blending up a bunch of fruits and vegetables to consume in liquid form because what if I don't like how it tastes? Then what will I do with it? I hate waste. The added challenge is finding ingredients to use that I'm not allergic to and won't cost me a fortune because berries cost around $7 for a tiny container here and how much do you need for a smoothie? Help.

Live Brave | September

August was a wonderfully freeing month. It wasn't perfect, but I felt a lot free-er mentally, especially at the beginning of the month. It was lovely, letting go of so many things that I let tether me down.

That said, I still have to work on parceling out my time so I don't give too much of it away.

So for September, I will:

Establish a block schedule. Designating times for work, volunteering at the boys' school, cleaning and for doing my own thing.

Survive for a week. Because my boys will be depending on me.

Stay hydrated. So I don't dry out at night like my poor little herbs as the temperature begins to rise.

Live Brave | August

July was a good month. 

Andrew, the boys and I all got some downtime while we were away at Straddie. We were busy, but it was a good kind of busy. I wove bracelets with Nathan. My bracelet isn't finished yet but I'm still working on it. Caleb started school and I've managed to get him there on time every day so far.

One goal for August: Let go.

I've been feeling really tense and weighted down lately. Actually, I've been feeling that way for a while now but I keep powering through, thinking it'll go away. But it doesn't. The reason I feel this way is because I'm a people-pleaser (I hate admitting that) and I've gotten so caught up with worrying about how people see me and what they'll think of me that somewhere along the way, I've forgotten about my own opinion.

Yes. Sure. That's fine! are my typical responses when I really should be saying No. Sorry, that doesn't work for me.

On top of that, I'm a bit of a sponge. I look around and I see cool things and think, Hey I want to do that too! I want to make that, I want to be like that, I want to go there, I want to do that but after a while, I realize I'm not completely sold and half-baked projects continue to pile up around me. I like what I'm seeing, but it's not really me.

I've been trying to please people and become this ideal person for so long, I feel like I don't really know who I am anymore. I feel a little fake, like my life is a façade. So I think now is a good time to let go of all these external expectations, real and imagined. It's time to let go of all that extra emotional and physical baggage that comes with worrying about how I think people will judge me, so I can take a real good look at myself and figure out who I am and where I need to be.

Live Brave | July

June just bowled me over and I'm hoping for a calmer, less busy July.

I didn't manage to even pick up a single book (for myself) in June, but I scheduled myself into some more challenging yoga sessions and made sure Caleb did some Reading Eggs every day we were at home. He's doing so well and he's starting to get the hang of sounding out short words!

I can't believe we're already smack dab in the middle of the year! Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canadians!

1. I have this bad habit of saying "yes" to things that fill up my time, especially when I don't have anything scheduled. Then, there are times when I have things scheduled for myself, like yoga or work assignments that need to get done, and I rearrange them to make time for other people. I need to stop giving away my time like it's free and start embracing downtime before I get burnt out again.

2. Nathan has been obsessed with making loom band bracelets since last school holidays and his enthusiasm hasn't faded. He keeps asking me if I want to make a bracelet and I think saying "yes" to spending one-on-one time with Nathan is something I need to do more of.

3. This is happening. One of us will need extra preparation.

Live Brave | June

May was a slow and steady month. There was a lot to get done, but I took my time to make sure things were done right.

There were a lot of behind-the-scenes changes made to this blog. I signed up for a blog workshop that I'm still slowly working through and I'm moving towards a more regular and well-planned blogging schedule.

Candles made a nightly appearance. My favourite has been a Williams-Sonoma candle I received as a birthday gift. Even when it's not burning it fills the room with a sweet fragrance.

And finally, this month Andrew started his hectic OBGYN schedule. He's out of the house at odd hours and it's been throwing my routine off. Some nights, I stayed up late and other nights, I was in bed right after tucking the boys in. Overall, I did get more sleep than usual. I love when I can wake up before my alarm, or before the boys. It's so much nicer to wake up naturally than to be woken up.

On to June.

1. I have a pile of half-read books and if I can finish even just one of them this month, I will be happy.

2. There were a couple things that didn't go as planned this month, like a Wednesday morning yoga class that left me winded and dizzy half way through. It wasn't a big deal, I'm just not used to the early morning workout but it's like I always tell the boys: get up, dust yourself off and try it again.

3. I've prepared a lot of material for Caleb to work through and he's currently loving the Reading Eggs app on my iPad. I'm hoping to get a little bit of focused learning done with him each day.

Live Brave | May

April was an overwhelming month, which is why I'm sneaking this post in two days late - I didn't even get a chance to think about setting goals for this new month.

I managed to complete half of my goals.

I spent plenty of time with the boys since they were home for almost 3 of the 4 weeks last month. Some parents dread school holidays and having the kids home, but we had a good time these past holidays. Sure, there was a good deal of arguing and sulking but overall, it was enjoyable.

While the boys were playing, I managed to clear out one of my workspaces but there's still quite a bit of reorganizing that needs to be done. I'm also looking ahead and packing up some of my stuff in anticipation of possibly moving again at the end of the year.

I didn't, however, become an early bird. In fact, I probably lost a lot more sleep this month due to the fact that I spent all my days out with the boys so was only able to focus on work after they went to bed. This meant late nights and relatively early mornings since Caleb still likes to wake up at 6:30, but he's kind enough to let me stay in bed until about 7 or so.

In a way, April's goals were a bit of a bust but that's okay. One of the beauties about setting these goals for myself is that I may not complete them within the timeline I set for myself, but if it's something I still want to achieve, I can continue working towards that goal anyway.

That said, May will be about slowing things down. This is not something I particularly like doing because my mind is full of projects and ideas that I want to bring to life and I don't like to waste precious time resting. I constantly want to be doing something, but I really need to catch my breath and refocus on what is important to me and what I want to do.

May's goals

1. I've been wanting to update my blog for ages but I never have time to so even if I change just one thing this month, I'll be happy.

2. Burning candles make me feel relaxed and warm, simple as that.

3. Even if I refuse to admit it, I am tired and I need rest.

Live Brave | April

March saw the beginning of my slow and steady transition into eating clean. There was definitely times when I had to push myself out of my comfort zone to try new foods I wasn't sure about and many other times when I had to just accept things that cannot be changed. It was especially tough the night we went out to celebrate Nathan's birthday. Our original restaurant of choice (where I had planned out my dinner in preparation) was fully booked because they had to close the outdoor seating due to rain. We ended up at Sizzler and 90% of their menu is beef which left me one option. I was not please and argued with myself about breaking the rules just this time but in the end, I convinced myself to stick with what I should eat.

When I chose "make stuff" as a goal for this month, I had envisioned myself using up some of the fabric and paper supplies I have accumulated over the past two years. What I ended up doing was creating a workspace for Caleb to do Montessori-inspired activities while I worked in the kitchen. I also spent a lot of time creating those materials for him to work with.

My final goal was also pretty open-ended. I stuck to my twice-a-week yoga routine which gets me out of the house, but I also ended up doing lots of coffee dates after drop off and a night away with some friends down the coast!

April's goals

1. I am far more productive in the morning even though I convince myself I am still getting work done when I stay up late. I'm hoping to make the switch to early bird this month.

2. My workspaces are far too cluttered for me to be productive. It's time to really sort through things and let go of what I don't really need.

3. The boys will be off for half the month. They will be home with me every single day and I'm looking forward to making the most of our time together, even if it does my head in.

Live Brave | March

In February, I finally found a way for me to get back into yoga. It took me until the last week to actually get to a class but the point is, I got there and I signed up for a six-month package. After being relatively inactive for two months, I eased back in with a basics class. My body was aching after an hour of holding simple poses but it felt good to be back on the mat. 

Earlier in the month I started learning how to script. This is definitely a skill that takes hours of practice (hours that I don't have right now) and I have a long way to go. Number one take-away from a live chat with Kal Barteski: I need to work on my twirling technique. As for the simplifying and organizing in Brisbane, let's just say that's a work in progress.

March is an exciting month for me. I'm looking forward to more changes, more bold steps and doing things without overthinking every bit of it. My goals for March are simple but big, and here they are:

1. I'm starting to understand how eating clean is a lot more than avoiding junk food. I'm working towards being more conscious of where my food comes from, how to prepare it and finding foods that are good for my body.

2. Along with making food, I hope to be spending some extra time in my creative workspace. 

3. Now that the weather's starting to cool to a more bearable temperature, I want to spend more time outside.

Live Brave | February

January was good - it was slow and fast at the same time. Organization was the theme for the month. I finished sorting through three year’s worth of paperwork, put together an organizer to keep track of everything and got our finances somewhat in order.

I survived a week-long cruise and went snorkeling for the first time (with both the boys), without Andrew. It was definitely a test of my patience and stamina. I spent a lot of time organizing, preparing and thinking ahead. Parenting our two boys is definitely a team sport that requires both parents. 

We managed to plan and execute a jam-packed social schedule to make the most of our extra month here while Andrew does his geriatrics rotation.  

February will be a month of change. We’ll be traveling back to Brisbane, switching out of vacation mode straight back into school mode. We’re going back to our own space, with our own schedules and our own responsibilities. I’m looking forward to living brave in February with these goals:

1. I tend to shy away from physical activity when I don't feel like I'm good enough. But yoga has taught me it's not a competition and I just need to do what is good for my body. 

2. I've been waiting a long time for Kal's class to come back. I want to learn script and really like my own handwriting. There's going to be a lot of mistakes and "waste" along the way and I'll have to learn to push past that and see it all as part of the process.

3. It's time to start thinking about organizing and simplifying our lives in Brisbane now that Andrew only has one more year of med school left. There's a 99.5% chance we'll have to move at the end of the year. I'm such a hoarder but it's time to be bold and get rid of the things that are weighing us down.

Live Brave | January

My goal for January is to tackle those tedious organization tasks. There's so many good ideas and systems out there but I need to streamline things and develop a system that works for me. 

One of my biggest time-wasters is digging around things that I've stored away safely in some place that made sense at the time. I'm like a squirrel with different caches hidden everywhere, but I want to change. I need a way to keep track of our household information and have it all at my fingertips.

I tried the tech-y use-all-sorts-of-apps method but that failed me badly last month when my iCloud account refused to work and I lost a lot of information and time.

After two hour-long sessions at the bank, an entire night of sorting through years paperwork and writing down bits of information, I think we're finally starting to the corner to being a little more organized with all this important grown-up stuff.

I'd like to streamline my Project Life and blogging processes as well. Anyone have some good resources for this?

Hello, 2014

Most people have their New Year's resolutions and goals figured out by the first day of the year but I tend to take my time in preparing for the new year. I don't do resolutions but I do set goals and choose a word for the year. Usually, it takes me a little while to figure it out. I like to play around with ideas, look at them from different angles and make sure it's the right fit.

So here we are, 7 days after the start of the new year and I've finally decided on my word.

Just to go back a bit, in 2012, my word was commit. It was the beginning of our second year in Australia and I had to decide if I was going to spend the next three years floating through life, or if I was going to really put my roots down and commit to being present and building relationships. I decided to commit and that was the real beginning of our lives in Australia.

My word for 2013 was embrace and we definitely seized every single moment of last year and squeezed every drop of goodness out of it. We went on more (road) trips, spent more time with people, tried more new things, learned more about us as a family and just really embraced life.

This year, we'll be facing a lot of change and uncertainty so I want a word that says light and strength. So after a week of tossing around ideas and mulling over words, I've finally decided that my word for 2014 will be brave.

I will be brave in trying new things, pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, accepting things I cannot change and in navigating through our (yes, our) final year of med school. I'm excited and scared to see what comes next, but this year, I will be brave.

OLW Preclass and January

Remember way back at the beginning of the year, I mentioned that I was going to commit to a couple big projects this year?

It took me a really long time to get started but I'm glad to say I'm still committed to doing both One Little Word and Project Life.

I finally found some time yesterday to put together the Preclass assignment and the January assignment, both of which I've been mulling over, trying to get them perfect.

Here's my title page:

Here's my January sheet:

As for Project Life, I've been diligently taking pictures, collecting ephemera and documenting our days as I wait to finally get my PL page protectors (which are all waiting for me in Toronto!!).

Hopefully I'll have more project updates to share soon!